Okay, so I’m hoping I’m not the only mom that has this and I have a feeling that I’m most certainly not. We wake up every day wondering what type of day we are going to have- are my kids going to wake up… happy? Sad? Cranky? Tired? Hyper? Hungry? Needy? Sick? Loving? It’s a crap shoot, you literally never know what mood you are going to be presented with. Some days I just don’t feel like there is enough time between when I put Brooklyn down and when she wakes up in the morning to start it all over again, but then I go in her room when she wakes up to morning snuggles and realize it’s a new day and a fresh slate 🙂
With this being said, mom guilt is a real thing. No matter the mood, I do my absolute best to make every day great for Brooklyn, despite being completely exhausted some days. I feel like the mom guilt has been layered on a bit thicker recently counting down the days I have left with Brooklyn being our only child. I want to make sure that I spend quality time with her, fill her days with laughter and fun, take her to museums, the zoo, music class, etc. Sometimes I can have the most perfect day with her and one mistake can turn it all around and make me feel like a horrible mother. Just right before Christmas I caught her from falling off the couch and splitting her head on the table and not but 3 minutes later she tripped on the dog bed and split her eyebrow open on the table. Mom fail. Slipping in the bath tub, losing patience and getting frustrated, saying a bad word, not knowing they are in pain from teeth coming in, the list goes on for reasons why I have mom guilt. I always reflect and think how I could have done things better, but in the moment I did what I thought was best for my daughter, and sometimes it’s not always what I would do after thinking of other ways to handle certain situations. I’m still learning and so is my daughter, and that’s just going to be how the rest of life goes.
I have come to the realization that no matter how hard I try I’m not going to be able to protect her from everything. I won’t always be there to catch her when she falls, but you better believe I am going to try my best. People will always ask me about her cuts and bruises that somehow magically appear, people will judge me when she is having a complete meltdown in the middle of King Soopers or screaming throughout the mall because she loves the sound of the echo, how I handle certain situations, or really when I do anything different than they would. At the end of the day we as moms are always doing the best we can. We love our kids more than anything, we want them to be the best they can be, we want to let them explore and figure out this thing we call life. In order for that to happen mistakes need to be made and you cannot always blame yourself and be so hard on yourself. I am very guilty of always being extremely hard on myself, but at the end of every day when we have bath time, story time, prayers, family hugs and smooches, and tuck her in that I have done my absolute best to be the best mom that I can be to Brooklyn. I put her needs ahead of me own, I teach her everything I can, take her to do fun things, love her, feed her meals and snacks, snuggle, read, laugh, dance, and just all things kids should be doing.
For all you moms out there, try to let go of mom guilt and know that you are a TERRIFIC mother. We are all doing our best and need to worry less about what others are doing or thinking. Comparing yourself to others or judging them for doing something different than you would isn’t going to get you anywhere. Keep your head up and mom on!
Chat with you all soon!